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emotions

Missing Irena has caused me many emotions...

I try so hard to make my feelings different, hard, cold, whatever, to turn off the love I have for her, but nothing seems to work. When we email about logistical stuff I get very hurt because I miss her so much, but I also get confused. She is dating a man and seems to really like him. I do not need to say how sad this makes me from one perspective because it really is the last thing I ever wanted to hear.

So, I know she is not reading these, but I am so very sorry for not always being nice in my emails Iren. I am just hurt because I love you so much. I ask you to please forgive me and try to understand that if I am defensive, it is not because of anything except I love you... I know that sounds and is crazy.. but.. my hurt is cloudy at times and that blocks my better judgement.

imuvmi
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