that isn't working... i swear, i am trying, very, very hard. i started dating someone and that lasted about 6 or so weeks, maybe longer, but, all it did was make me miss you and in the process push her away... for a few nights this week i have had the same recurring dream, you leaving me, and telling me about another man and with that look of who gives a crap if it hurts you to hear it i really have spent so much time working on me, and building a better, stronger, nicer, more compassionate me.. and i feel I have done very well.. and then, i weaken at the knees, or sob at the thought of you not being my best friend for the rest of my life... I see your eyes in how you loved the dogs, or loved to bake and i just wish it would return, here, with me... sadly, i know you won't come back, and sadly, i know that all my thoughts, positive energy, and wishes, cannot change anything. I tried so hard on your birthday and you gave me a hard time for surprising you, which I didn...
Welcome to my blog about Irena. She and I used to be married and I have not been able to get over us being divorced. I still love her very much, every single day, and I believe she really is the most amazing woman, and perfect. In the meantime, I am just using this blog to write out my feelings and thoughts as they relate to her...