For Irena

It doesn't seem to matter how much time passes, or who comes and goes from my life, you are the one I miss every single day. I see a little of you in so many things... I wish you lots of happiness and love in every aspect of your life. If you won't come to me, then someone deserves your attention. Not easy to say, but it is.............. the reality imuvm

On the plane... I'm always thinking back to the day we left the US. We were sitting in the lounge and time was passing in a surreal way.  I had hoped that moment would change everything  A month later we were taking a family portrait for a postcard A month after that you were gone the first time I miss you Iren. I miss the big things and the little things. I loved how you spent so much time picking a blouse to were to garrands wedding. You looked amazing. It was a classic style and it suited you perfectly I loved the apron you made and wore. Wow do you look sexy in that. When you made desserts you did such an amazing job and always put them in a beautiful dish on the dining table I'm sorry we lost our home I'm sorry about a lot of things But I miss you every single day. You're the most beautiful, smartest, sportiest, loving woman I know and without you a large part of me remains empty I know I was not a great guy for a long time b...

Every day is a new day.. And with every day, I work on bettering me... And no matter what is good or what is bad, I know I cannot improve who I am without always looking forward instead of backward... And with every word of that as truth, I know that there is one part of my past that never gets old, never feels like old news, and I never tire of thinking about.. And that is Irena...  I hope she will come for my birthday, it's very unlikely but I do hope. If there is anything I wish for my birthday, it's this. Nothing more..  imuvmesd iren 

i organized a group hike (should be 6 people)... all I can think about is how much I wish you were with me... somehow I wish you could and would dig deep, and open your heart to me.. I cannot turn off my feelings for you no matter how much I try I miss you very much Irena. You encompass everything I have ever wanted in a partner and best friend. I love you.

... but not my heart. its been quite a while since I have written in here, but it doesn't mean much time passes without me thinking about Irena, the love I have for her, and the lack of understanding why we have turned out as we have. My life is changing so much almost daily. My health continunes to improve. My diet is better than it has ever been in my life. I look better than I have in a long time (minus the normal aging of course). But most of all, my attitude, feelings, tolerance, and understanding, evolve every single day. I wonder if she misses me, thinks about me, feels she has made a mistake but her pride precludes her from reaching out. I sent her flowers for Irena day. She wrote me and said thank you but I did not reply. I cannot allow more hurt into my heart. I miss her, chu, sashi, and her family all very much. She was to be the mother of my next child.. xoxo

I have to give in... I have tried everything with Iren but she is being just the same old way. Kick me enough and sooner or later I will not fight any longer. I thought for sure after January and visiting her again she would open her heart, but she was cold, and nasty to me at times, even saying at one point "that's one of the things I hate about you" in regards to me letting her know there was no stress about making a juice. I was trying to help and for that I am told its a reason i am hated. Irena 1 Dave 0 Match is over Its a very sad moment for me, but nothing more I can do. 

I have started a 21 day juice fest today.. I really want to ask Iren about some recipes but I know she is studying for her four exams on Saturday (tomorrow). I did this once before when she and I lived in New Jersey and she was SO helpful, SO supportive, and really a great partner for this. I got a new juicer too.. I am hoping and praying Iren invites me to come visit so I can bring the one I have been using to her so she can start juicing again. I know she misses it and I know how much being healthy means to her. Frankly, without Irena, I would have never learned all of these things myself. imuvmi with all of my heart

I was walking home from the bank today and noticed that near the migros someone is selling a few cars. He had one for 2600 CHF that was perfect. A great car to learn driving in as well as if it gets dented it isn't the worst thing in the world Please open up Iri... There is so much left in life for me to share with you... 

Dear Iren I just want to wish you the most amazing new year ever. If I can think of anyone who deserves the very best, your name is at the very top of the list. I miss you of course.. I hold in the space of hope, of course.. but I also will not do anything to force you into feeling like its not natural.. Please kiss, hug, and tell the doggies I love and miss them endlessly. Dave