For Irena

Dear Iren I hope you are having a nice day.... really, I do... This week, it has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. When you told me last sunday that you got married, I felt like someone took the feet out from under me, and then stepped on top of me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think straight, and I just couldn't imagine how this could even be real. But... it is... When we wrote back and forth those many emails, it felt amazing because we were communicating, and at the same time, it hurt more than ever. The way we talked, were open, honest, and genuine, it really meant the world to me. Really!! The sad part was, I kept checking my phone, looking at my messages to see if I would hear from you again. And when they didn't come I was sad and when they did, I was worried that you were going to just tell me to get lost.   I am very proud of my being a lot stronger now though. I know that all of the changes I have made in my life are what have led me to this pl...

Dear Irena Its been 1467 days since we were divorced (February 13, 2013) and today, we shared some emails, and it made me cry. You told me you are married again, and we can never try to fix things again. If words could express how this makes me feel, I would express them, but its too deep for me... I want to be happy for you, and wish you all the happiness ever, because you do deserve nothing less. And I know, its the gentlemanly thing to do, and what I should do. I am very happy for you Irena, you deserve nothing less than complete happiness, forever. I am in a state of shock... I am not mad, nor blame you, nor feel you did anything wrong.. I guess, this day had to come.. but it hurts.. because after all the time, I learned two things: one, that i needed to change myself so I could say I love me, and two, that you will always be in the center of my heart. I miss you all the time, and I never ever stop thinking about you. These words, are very true and always sincere. With any...

Hi iren I hope you are well... I was just thinking about you as I was walking the outdoor market in Santa Maria del Cami. The weather is absolutely amazing and the atmosphere is beautiful... I imagine you would enjoy this very much  I miss you Dave             

Dear Iren I hope you are well... its been a long time and that same time passes very fast I think... I know you have moved on with your life and may not even remember how to spell my name.. but, you are still a part of my life for sure in so many ways... I have learned to stop saying "I wish" this or that in regards to you.. but I never stop living in the space of being open. You are, and its very clear to me now more than ever, a very special woman and I always felt it from the first weeks we spent hours talking on the phone. I just want to wish you a beautiful holiday season.. I miss you, always Love Dave

Dear Irena, I try not to write to you so much here anymore, its honestly still very hurtful for me. But, it doesn't mean you are far from my thoughts. I always think about time being a great healer, but I think when sometimes a piece of ones heart is gone, that piece just cannot grow back. I sent you an email some months back asking how you and the dogs are but you never replied. I suppose that was a subtle way of you telling me to not bother you again. So, I am afraid to write you more. There is a woman here in Basel who I am going to do some work with in regards to starting a food business. Anyway, she had a miscarriage last week. It took me back to the time when you were pregnant the first time and you bought the pregnant pants. I will tell you Iren, its like yesterday for me, and it makes me just as sad now as it did then when you lost the baby. I keep learning every day about myself and new ways of being to better myself and my life. To live a better life, more loving, ...