Skip to main content

a gift....

While in Spain, I bought Iren a gift. It is a butterfly wind chime. It is beautiful, not too big, and has a beautiful sound to it. I sent it to her, but, that was the end of it. I got no reply, no feedback, not even a "please don't send me gifts" message... When I am out and see things, I think how much I would like to buy them for her.

I suppose I know deep down she will never wish to come back to me.. and I suppose in order to get past the pain I will have to accept it at some point. I honestly just do not know how this is at all possible. really....

They say time heals all wounds.. but as time passes I find this particular wound only deepens as it is a reminder of how amazing she is, and how much I messed up our marriage.

ps - I forgot, but should have mentioned... Just after I sent the gift but before she got it, something happened between us in email and I told her to not worry about opening the box if that was how she felt. So, it's my fault I never heard from her about it.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hi

Dear Irena, I try not to write to you so much here anymore, its honestly still very hurtful for me. But, it doesn't mean you are far from my thoughts. I always think about time being a great healer, but I think when sometimes a piece of ones heart is gone, that piece just cannot grow back. I sent you an email some months back asking how you and the dogs are but you never replied. I suppose that was a subtle way of you telling me to not bother you again. So, I am afraid to write you more. There is a woman here in Basel who I am going to do some work with in regards to starting a food business. Anyway, she had a miscarriage last week. It took me back to the time when you were pregnant the first time and you bought the pregnant pants. I will tell you Iren, its like yesterday for me, and it makes me just as sad now as it did then when you lost the baby. I keep learning every day about myself and new ways of being to better myself and my life. To live a better life, more loving, ...
Post a Comment
Read more
Dear Iren I hope you are well... its been a long time and that same time passes very fast I think... I know you have moved on with your life and may not even remember how to spell my name.. but, you are still a part of my life for sure in so many ways... I have learned to stop saying "I wish" this or that in regards to you.. but I never stop living in the space of being open. You are, and its very clear to me now more than ever, a very special woman and I always felt it from the first weeks we spent hours talking on the phone. I just want to wish you a beautiful holiday season.. I miss you, always Love Dave
Post a Comment
Read more

HI

Dear Iren I hope you are having a nice day.... really, I do... This week, it has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. When you told me last sunday that you got married, I felt like someone took the feet out from under me, and then stepped on top of me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think straight, and I just couldn't imagine how this could even be real. But... it is... When we wrote back and forth those many emails, it felt amazing because we were communicating, and at the same time, it hurt more than ever. The way we talked, were open, honest, and genuine, it really meant the world to me. Really!! The sad part was, I kept checking my phone, looking at my messages to see if I would hear from you again. And when they didn't come I was sad and when they did, I was worried that you were going to just tell me to get lost.   I am very proud of my being a lot stronger now though. I know that all of the changes I have made in my life are what have led me to this pl...
Post a Comment
Read more